"Wait till you have kids that behave just like you," they said. It’s the kind of remark meant to tease, perhaps even serve as a cautionary tale. When I heard it, I never gave it much thought. But here I am, raising little humans who not only act like me but also look like me. And much to my surprise, they’ve taught me a profound lesson I didn't even know I needed to learn: how easy it is to love myself.
A Reflection in Miniature
When I gaze at my kids, it’s as though I’m peering into a mirror that captures both who I am and who I once was. Their boundless energy, their quirks, their determination, their moments of doubt and frustration... all of these are parts of me. Sometimes, it feels surreal to see bits of my personality echoed so clearly in the way they move through the world.
But here’s the magic of it all—I don’t judge them for the very traits I once criticized in myself. When they stumble over words in a moment of shyness or when they get overwhelmed and need time to reset, I respond with patience and love. When they triumph over a small challenge, even after doubting themselves, I cheer them on shamelessly.
Through this unconditional love I pour into them, something incredible happened. I started seeing myself differently.
Learning to Love Through Them
For so long, I held myself to impossible standards. Every perceived flaw felt magnified. Every mistake lingered in my mind far longer than it should have. But my children changed the narrative.
When I look at them, I see how incredible they are not despite their imperfections, but because of them. Their stubbornness is a sign of their conviction. Their sensitivity shows they care deeply. Their curiosity is a testament to their vibrant imaginations.
If I can recognize all these beautiful qualities in them, how could I not allow myself the same grace? How could I not look back at the person I've been—with all her messiness and complexity—with that same level of understanding and love?
The Beauty of Self-Acceptance
One of the most heartbreaking thoughts I've had as a parent is imagining my children doubting themselves. That they’re not enough. Not good enough, smart enough, or beautiful enough. And yet, how many times have I thought those very things about myself?
Becoming their mother made me realize how unfair I had been—to myself. If I, as the grown-up version of these perfect little humans, am not enough, what does that say to them when they're reflections of me? It’s in that truth that I finally began to accept myself, flaws and all.
Their love for me is pure and unfiltered. To them, I’m not just "Mom." I’m comfort, guidance, and home. They don't care about my bad hair days or whether I’ve got it all figured out. Their love reminded me that my worth is not tied to how polished or perfect I appear, but to who I am at my core.
A Gift from the Universe
Having kids is one of life’s greatest paradoxes. You spend so much of yourself raising them, yet, in return, they give you back pieces of your soul you didn’t know were missing.
My kids made me see myself through a lens of wonder. They didn’t just teach me how important it is to be kind to myself; they showed me how to do it. The universe has this funny way of giving you the lessons you need at the exact time you need them. My children were my greatest lesson.
We are, all of us, such perfect creations. We are flawed, yes, but in those imperfections is a kind of poetry. It takes raising children who reflect pieces of you to realize how truly remarkable those pieces are.
How Parenting Shapes Personal Growth
Parenting isn’t just about shaping the lives of your children—it’s about growing alongside them. Every meltdown, every milestone, every sleepy cuddle, and every peal of laughter brings with it an opportunity to learn something new about yourself.
Maybe we don’t need the world’s validation to feel whole. Maybe it starts with seeing ourselves the way our children see us—with awe, love, and pride.
To all the parents out there, remember this: the love you pour into your children is a reflection of the love you deserve to give yourself. And if the mirror your children hold up to you reveals flaws, it also reveals beauty, strength, and resilience.
What My Kids Taught Me About Self-Love
Thanks to my children, I’ve learned that kindness is contagious, even when directed inward. When I’m patient, forgiving, and loving toward myself, I model those behaviors for them. They deserve to grow up with a mom who believes she’s enough, just as they deserve to grow up believing they are enough.
In parenting, I found a love for myself I didn’t know I was missing. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.